Show, don’t tell

Show, don’t tell

Vis det, fortæl det ikke

Show, don’t tell er en meget vigtig teknik. Det er den, der gør din historie virkelig, sanselig og dyb. Der er mange, der begår den fejl at beskrive og fortælle i stedet for at vise – og det gør en historie flad og kedelig. I al mit arbejde med forfattere, både kendte og hidtil ukendte, har det været en hjertesag at hjælpe dem med at skabe liv med denne teknik. Se for eksempel her:

1: Han var en stor, tyk mand.

2: Jakken sad så stramt om den store mave, at man frygtede knapperne ville flyve af og tage flugten gennem lokalet som små dødbringende sølvmissiler.

1: Han var professor på universitet og meget klog.

2: Der var et intelligent blik i hans blå øjne. Når han talte, strøg han en hånd over sit grå, tilbageredte hår. Han fortabte sig i at tale om emnet, og det var nemt at forestille sig, hvordan han kunne fortrylle og henføre sine elever på universitet, når han forelæste.

1: Det var iskoldt, og de frøs alle sammen.

2:Frosten lå hvidt over træer og buske. Ånden stod dem alle ud af munden som små skyer. De trak kapperne tættere om sig og missede mod den skarpe refleksion af sol i hvidt.

1: Manden i midten af dem var tydeligvis håndværker.

2: Manden i midten bar et værktøjsbælte om livet. Han gned sine fingre mod hinanden. Hans tommelfingernegl var blå, og huden på hans hænder var slidt og ru.

1: Han gav hende et langt, romantisk knus. Han kunne mærke, at hun havde været udenfor. Hendes hår og tøj var koldt.

2: Hendes krop var bløde og levende mod hans. Der var en kulde i hendes tøj, i hendes hår og på hendes hud, som fordampede, da han trak hende tættere ind til sig.

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Show, don’t tell

Show, don’t tell is a very important technique. It’s what makes your story real, sensuous and deep. Many people make the error of describing and telling instead of showing – and that makes a story flat and boring. During all my work with writers, both known and so-far unknown, it has been near to my heart to help them create life with this technique. Take a look at this:

1: He was a large, fat man.

2: The coat was so tight around the big stomach that you feared the buttons would fly off and take flight through the room like tiny, deadly silver missiles.

1:He was a professor at the university and very smart.

2: There was an intelligent look in his blue eyes. When he spoke, he ran a hand over his gray, combed-back hair. He lost himself in talking about the subject, and it was easy to imagine how he could spellbind and seduce his students at the university when he lectured.

1: It was ice-cold and they were all freezing.

2: The frost was white on trees and bushes. Breath came out of their mouths like tiny clouds. They pulled their cloaks tighter and squinted at the sharp reflection of sun on white.

1: The man in the middle of the was clearly a workman.

2: The man in the middle carried a tool belt on his hips. He rubbed his fingers together. His thumb nail was blue, and the skin on his hands was worn and rough.

1: He gave her a long, romantic hug. He could feel that she had been outside. Her hair and clothes were cold.

2: Her body was soft and alive against his. There was a cold in her clothes, in her hair and on her skin, which evaporated when he pulled her closer to him.